June 28

I learned that I may always have some discriminatory patriarchal thoughts buried deep in my head. I rolled my eyes at a plot line in a tv show and then had to talk to that boomer grandma in my head that it isn't "always" a plot that includes a romance between a same sex couple. That, in fact, it is RARELY included and that i need to fucking relax and back off and let it normalize and the more I see it the less it becomes something to be noticed. I am always shocked when I hit one of these problematic areas in my brain. Bummer.

 

This photo is a draft of an project I am working on, where there is pink on the back of the butterfly that reflects onto the surface behind. I wish I could do it in a wall like I want to, but this will have to do. Not sure if it is ready for prime time, but I really would like to figure it out.

June 27

 I learned that Beatrix Potter gave the British National Trust the largest land donation or bequest they have ever received. I learned this while watching Landscape Painter of the Year. I love British television. This is a photo of a giant moth in my backyard. I love moths. I was a moth for Halloween when I was 11.

June 26 Family History

 I learned that I need to examine a few relationships in my personal history again. Funny how the perspective of age shows things that were hidden previously.

 

 June 25

Hmmm. The main thing I remember learning yesterday was that the waiting room for the ER is not just for patients and their families waiting to be treated, it is also a room where family will be waiting by themselves and scared and crying crying crying while on the phone to someone. My situation was minimal (C cut his finger badly but no major damage) and I just sort of spaced that many times the situations are dire and awful. I felt really bad for her but didn't know how to make her feel that it was okay to be crying without being creepy. so I did nothing, which is it's own thing. So it isn't that I didn't know that before in a cerebral way, but I learned it in my gut yesterday. A totally different thing. The photo is the beginnings of an idea for a painting. Just the outlines that I am looking at.

June 24

I learned that gouache kind of works as a transparent glaze, but it probably is not the best medium to use for a glaze as it gets streaky/chunky. I like how it collected in the streaks from the previous layer of paint. It may be useful at some point, so I will put that in my mental book called "Random Shit I Might Need to Know About Someday."